A Kipper for a Skipper: A Drabble Series
by Snark-N-Moon
Summary: As the title implies- a series of drabbles dedicated to the Kowalski/Skipper pairing. Updated when inspiration hits.
1. SODA

By: Snark

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_Can't sleep. So I'm just going to write some stuff until I can. Here, have some Kowalski/Skipper drabbles._

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**.:Soda:.**

Kowalski wasn't much for carbonated beverages. Not that he hated them, per say; in fact, he rather enjoyed a good cream soda or a root beer from time to time. No, his problem came from the way the carbonation made him feel. It was too strong- too fizzy. The bubbles would pop in his mouth and throat and leave a very displeasing sting as they made their way through his insides.

And that wasn't even mentioning the health risks that carbonation could cause- you would have to be out of your MIND to want to constantly put something in your body that could absorb the calcium from your bones.

Skipper was apparently completely insane.

It was a little known fact among the team that the leader was a caffeine fiend. His mornings would start off with a cup of joe- extra black and extra fishy. But as the day went on, he would get his fix another way. Their fridge in the HQ was stored with bottles after bottles, and cans after cans of pop. Cream sodas, grape sodas, Coca Cola, Pepsi, Faygo...the list went on and on of what the squatty avian commander kept in there at a time. Really, anything he could get his flippers on was good enough for him!

"Nothing says 'American' like a tuna sub in one flipper, and a coke in the other," he had been known to spout- even his patriotism blinded by his soda gluttony.

In all honesty, Kowalski never could understand the obsession. He had tried to ask his leader about it. However, his curiosity was only met with the likes of: "Kowalski, nobody EXPLAINS their love for heavenly nectar. They just sit back and enjoy her sweet intoxicating flavors!"

The analyst wasn't satisfied by this.

"That's...That's not an answer! That's just sugar coated sentimental nonsense! Where's the SCIENCE? Is it psychological? Do you have fond childhood memories connected to it?"

Skipper just laughed it off, looking at the taller penguin as if some joke was going over his head.

"Not any more than the next Tom, Dick, or Harry." He paused as he frowned as he mumbled to himself. "Never did like that Harry. Traitorous scum!"

The scientist tried to get them back on track, as he shot off more questions for the older penguin.

"Then it's chemical. HAS to be! High-fructose corn syrup is known for initiating cravings in the brain, creating compulsive overeating-or in this case, drinking- patterns. It's an addiction!"

"And so what if it is?" Skipper said with a smug smirk, as he popped open another can as he took in the summer sun's rays. He took a long drink as he laid back onto his beach chair; he exhaled contently, before lifting his sunglasses to look at the analyst looming over him.

"Come on, Kowalski, can you blame a guy? The cool and crisp flavors. The way it tingles as it hits your taste buds, and then makes its way through you. Oh man." The leader felt himself grow thirsty, just from talking about it, as he took another sip. His eyes closed,as a shudder of pleasure shook him. He moaned as his sipping turned to chugging as he craved more. Nothing would satisfy him until he devoured the very last drop. The scientist felt himself growing red in the face from embarrassment as he began to worry that Skipper's enjoyment might have been far too sensual.

Skipper however, opened his eyes as he exhaled once more. He threw his empty can over his shoulder, as he went to grab for another. He smiled almost too innocently for Kowalski to handle, as he wondered how in the world the other penguin didn't know how that all had looked. He continued to blush as Skipper was about to drink again, before he instead handed it towards his second in command.

"But why am I telling you all this? YOU'RE the 'gotta test everything' geeky nerd-guy. Here, my dull compadre, take a taste test of THIS and tell me if YOU aren't persuaded by its charm."

"Uh…"

"That's an order."

The analyst found himself nervous as his flipper went out to reach for the can. He told himself it was all hyper-awareness as he noted his flipper accidentally brushing against his leader's. He told himself it was all in his head, as he felt Skipper's eyes take in Kowalski tilting back his head to take a drink.

And he told himself his own shudder was from the carbonation and not from the penguin calling his name.

"Well, Kowalski, do you have your answers?"

The brainy bird noted the other's flipper was stretched out again towards him. It took him a moment to realize that his leader was expecting his drink back. Kowalski nearly fumbled and dropped the can, as he handed it back over. The team scientist felt himself turning a darker hue as his temperature rose, as he became more flustered as Skipper put the can to his beak and drunk from it. The avian commander raised a brow as he put down his pop.

"...Soldier?"

"Ah, yes!" Kowalski cried out, a little too high pitched for his liking. He cleared his throat before looking away altogether. "I...I believe that answered my inquiries, yes. I think I'm starting to see its...appeal."

"Good! In that case shut up and sit your kiester down! This day ain't gonna enjoy itself!"

Kowalski wasn't one for carbonated beverages. He still wasn't a fan of the sensation as it burned his throat. But as he sat next to his leader, watching as he chugged away at the coke the scientist had just had to his own beak…

He decided he could grow to love them.


	2. DOUBLE LIFE

**.:Double Life:.**

To be completely honest, Kowalski didn't know how it had all started.

No, scratch that, he did know. He was fully aware of the exact moment his strange story took off. It all began with a flipper pressed up against his beak as he was ripped out of his slumber. The penguin had thrashed about, fearing an ambush from the likes of one of their enemies. Fear turned to confusion as he turned to the side, mouth still covered by a not-so-hostile- but still equally alarming to suddenly have close to your face while you're sleeping- Skipper. Kowalski raised a brow as he swore he must have misheard as the leader whispered into the otherwise quiet night.

"I require yes or no responses only. Shake or nod, do you still have your superhero get-up?"

A nod. This response didn't get any reaction out of the commander, as his face seemed as neutral as ever. Before Kowalski could wonder if he failed some test he didn't even realize he was partaking in, Skipper opened his beak again as he asked another question- just as seriously and just as mysteriously.

"How'd you like the chance to dawn your cape and goggles once more?"

Kowalski tried speaking, but his tones were muffled by the flipper still covering his beak. Skipper glared as he pressed his appendage harder to the scientist's mouth.

"Dangit, Kowalski!" The squatty bird harshly whispered. "I said a shake or a nod, man!"

The analyst was silent for a moment as he thought the query over. Did he want to have the chance to dress up once more? Did he still find himself wishing he could feel the thrill one could only find as they dawned on their mask as they became their persona? Did he miss the feel of his cape flapping in the wind as he dished out hard calculated justice?

Kowalski nodded his head carefully as he looked into his leader's blue steely eyes. Skipper's rigid expression turned to a smile as he let go of the scientist's beak.

"Then go get it, " he continued in his secretive tones as he made his way to the hatch," and then meet me topside."

And that was how he and Skipper began their nightly escapades as the returned crusaders: the Throbbing Cerebellum and Slappy-Hurt-Punch. Every evening, once the others turned in for bed, the two would lay awake for a good hour as they waited to hear the rhythmic sound of a deep sleep. When Skipper determined them knocked out enough, he took out a flashlight and turned it on once….Twice...Three times. This was their code. This was their signal that their night of fun had truly begun.

Kowalski didn't know what to think about it.

Logically...well, logically it made no sense. What was the purpose? At first the analyst thought it was some sort of test. As second in command, Kowalski was used to having different obligations compared to the rest of the team. Was this to asses his loyalty? His ability to keep a secret? There was no need to worry about that; Private and Rico wouldn't believe his story even if he did feel compelled to tell. So then he contemplated about whether this was Skipper's way of getting the scientist to train more- it was a known fact that when it came to physical exertion...He was the least capable fighter on the team. It didn't seem far-fetched that the other penguin would cook up some cockimany scheme to keep him out of the lab and get him to work on his timing.

And yet, even when that seemed the closest to some sort of sense, his gut- the one Skipper had trained him to listen to- just couldn't and wouldn't agree.

Slappy-Hurt-Punch and the Throbbing Cerebellum had been standing on the roof of a building, looking down at the streets below as they saw the cops beginning to pull away. It had been yet another night of thwarting evil, as the two had stopped the criminal duo- Cecil and Brick- from robbing the defenseless bank in the night. What little defenses the establishment did have- a poor elderly security officer who had been asleep at the monitors- had been quickly taken care of as they slapped a sack over his head and shoved him into the nearest broom closet. It was by mere chance that the crime had happened while the two penguin heroes were finishing up their rounds and on their way back to the Central Park Zoo. Slappy-Hurt-Punch had noted commotion as he saw two shadows looming towards the back entrance. They had stayed to the shadows, themselves, as they witnessed their deeds.

"T.C., what are our options?"

"Well," the Throbbing Cerebellum began, as he adjusted his infrared goggles to look at their surroundings. " Nothing here seems like we can use it to help us any. But I'm noting that the villainous scum aren't paying attention and are focused solely on their lucrative transgressions. I suggest we attack from behind before they even know what's coming."

"Ooo, sounds especially risky and risque...I like it!"

From there it was barely even a fight at all, as Slappy-Hurt-Punch knocked out the bigger of the two with one jab to the nape of the neck. The Throbbing Cerebellum took out the leader, using the momentum and gravity to throw his abacus to Cecil's knees. The human screamed as he fell, knocking himself out from the blow. All it took was for the heroic penguins to push the alarm button, and the police made their way to the bank in no time at all.

Really, it had practically been TOO easy.

Kowalski sighed after the sirens from the cop cars couldn't be heard any longer. he removed his eyewear, as he turned to look at his leader. This...this whatever this was had been entertaining. It had been the most fun he had in the longest of times. And yet...He wasn't any closer to figuring out the answers to his inquiries.

"Skipper, " he said to the night sky. When he didn't receive any reply, he tried again as he this time looked at his crime-fighting companion. "Skipper?"

When Skipper STILL didn't answer, it dawned on him why. He sighed in annoyance, as he tried another tactic.

"Slappy?"

"Yeees, my brainy bird of a flightless feather?" The mask wearing penguin smiled smugly as he looked over at the other half of his duo. "What's on your mind, T.C?"

"Why are we doing this?"

Skipper raised a brow.

"Why are we doing what? Fighting evil? Serving out the flipper thwacks of truth and justice? Ya gotta be more specific, soldier."

"No! That's not-" Kowalski interrupted himself as he realized something. "Well, yes, technically that's what I'm asking. But I guess I'M SPECIFICALLY asking: 'why me?' Why did you ask ME to join you on this nonsensical crusade. It doesn't make any SENSE!"

The squatty penguin laughed.

"Pfft. Makes sense to me. You were the best option."

"As much as my ego wants to agree, I can't. That's a load of bull malarky! Private has the suit AND the best catchphrase! Not to mention Rico alone has not only a utility belt IN his abdomen, but he's the strongest member on the team. "

"HAD a suit," Skipper began as he crossed his flippers. "he lost it during a hornet ambush, remember? And the Steel Penguin might know his way around a tussle, but he's also a growing lad. It would be irresponsible to have him up all night and day.

"As for Barf-Bag…" The masked avian frowned. "It's harder to keep a reign on his leash when we're out at night. He's too much of a firecracker- not enough control for this line of work."

Kowalski looked at his leader in total confusion, he still felt just as lost.

"But...But SKIPPER! Why-?"

"Besides, Skipper interrupted, not letting his second in command finish, "did you ever think there was a third reason?"

A third reason? Now he was just COMPLETELY stumped!

"Third reason…?"

All mirth was stripped from his face as Slappy-Hurt-Punch looked his soldier dead in the eyes and starred. The analyst could not read what the expression meant, but felt himself grow uneasy the longer the silence lasted. Right when he was about to open his beak again, Kowalski was startled as one of Skipper's flippers grabbed onto the knot of his blue cape and jerked him forward and down. The brainy bird felt his eyes widen in alarm as his leader's beak crashed with his own in a forceful kiss. Skipper was kissing him. Skipper, his ranking officer and commander- not to mention dashing masked crime-fighting crusader- was locking beaks with him and didn't seem like he was going to let up any soon. Not only was his confusion doubled...but, oh, Kowalski could just tell he was as red as a beat from the unexpected predicament. After what felt like an eternity, but was most likely a minute at most, Skipper finally let go of his soldier.

Skipper smirked as Kowalski stuttered, just trying to make sense of any of this.

"B-but...You...SKIPPER! And! And you just-!"

"The third reason," the masked hero began, not letting the analyst continue, "was that maybe...juuust maybe, I missed the Throbbing Cerebellum. He had a dorky charm not-unlike a certain options guy I know. Can't blame a fanguin for wanting to spend some alone time-mono-a-mono- with their favorite hero again, can ya?"

Kowalski felt himself becoming more flustered, even as he found himself smiling at Skipper's words.

"Well, uh, that is…" He cleared his throat as he tried to find his own words. He settled on one. "...favorite?"

"You don't think I go around beak locking with my LEAST favorite heroes, do you?"

"Ah, well, I...I don't…"

"'Course not! Special case scenario only." This time it was Skipper who was interrupted, as he was suddenly blinded by the rising sun. He glowered as he shielded his eyes from the glare. "Shoot, the boys'll be waking up soon. I'll take a raincheck on this, T.C. We'll finish this conversation 'el mañana', as they say down south. Twenty-three hundred hours. Got it?"

So many question! So little answers! The scientist found himself more bewildered than before! And yet, as he looked into his leader's deep blue eyes, eyes that spoke of warmth under their cool icy pools...He looked away shyly as his brain spoke before he could stop himself.

"It's a date."


End file.
